| PJ visits Darryl in 2002. |
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A personal message from Darryl written November,
2005 from a correctional facility in South Carolina.
So many years have passed since my last communication that I really don't
know where to begin. Writing a message from the heart is never an easy
task, especially considering where I am writing from.
I am still currently serving an extremely lengthy prison term while my legal
battles increase with much fortitude and resilience. With all of the breath I
have within me, this fight will never grow tired or old, so please know that I
am healthy, safe, and moving progressively forward.
What I first envisioned for the website was to hopefully provide a forum
where I could communicate with those involved in and around sports, in
hopes of steering them clear of the potential pitfalls which have the ability to
affect them for the rest of their lives. Since 1998, I tried to relay a message to
athletes through various media forms - newspapers, television, and radio,
but the true message would generally get lost due to a lack of space or time
allotted for the feature.
My focus continues on athletes who teeter on the edge of excitement from
what is accomplished on the field versus the dangers that tend to confront
one off the field, far away from the crowd.
College and professional sports are filled with negative stories as a result of
poor decision-making and reckless behavior. Recurring legal infractions
including violence off the field, drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence,
and every other invincible hotheaded emotion ultimately leads to
self-destruction. There is a saying that goes, "those who fail to learn from
their mistakes are destined to repeat them".
Taking this statement a step further, true growth and maturity must center
around not only learning from personal mistakes but learning from the
mistakes of others. This is where I come in because I can't think of anyone
else who has made more boneheaded decisions in such a relatively short
period of time than I have. I can think of no better person to speak
matter-of-fact about the horrific effects of bad decision-making and poor
judgment than myself.
Why do I care?
In 1996, St. Louis Rams President, John Shaw, encouraged me to contact
the popular college running back out of Nebraska, Lawrence Phillips (who
was also their first round pick), in hopes of establishing a healthy rapport by
sharing some of my negative experiences with him as a deterrent. At the
time of his suggestion, my self-esteem was as low as it had ever been, and
quite honestly, I didn't know what to say or where to begin. In hindsight, it
was the coward's way out. I was wallowing in self-pity. I never followed up.
Lawrence Phillips ended up having a sub-par NFL career and never reached
his true potential; he also had several skirmishes with the law along the way.
I have no idea whether any correspondence between me and Lawrence
would have made a difference in his NFL career, but the possibility exists
that it could have. That incident has dogged me for years and I will never
again leave anything as important as this to chance. I do have something to
say, and I'm going to say it over and over with the hope that young people
can learn from my example!
2005 from a correctional facility in South Carolina.
So many years have passed since my last communication that I really don't
know where to begin. Writing a message from the heart is never an easy
task, especially considering where I am writing from.
I am still currently serving an extremely lengthy prison term while my legal
battles increase with much fortitude and resilience. With all of the breath I
have within me, this fight will never grow tired or old, so please know that I
am healthy, safe, and moving progressively forward.
What I first envisioned for the website was to hopefully provide a forum
where I could communicate with those involved in and around sports, in
hopes of steering them clear of the potential pitfalls which have the ability to
affect them for the rest of their lives. Since 1998, I tried to relay a message to
athletes through various media forms - newspapers, television, and radio,
but the true message would generally get lost due to a lack of space or time
allotted for the feature.
My focus continues on athletes who teeter on the edge of excitement from
what is accomplished on the field versus the dangers that tend to confront
one off the field, far away from the crowd.
College and professional sports are filled with negative stories as a result of
poor decision-making and reckless behavior. Recurring legal infractions
including violence off the field, drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence,
and every other invincible hotheaded emotion ultimately leads to
self-destruction. There is a saying that goes, "those who fail to learn from
their mistakes are destined to repeat them".
Taking this statement a step further, true growth and maturity must center
around not only learning from personal mistakes but learning from the
mistakes of others. This is where I come in because I can't think of anyone
else who has made more boneheaded decisions in such a relatively short
period of time than I have. I can think of no better person to speak
matter-of-fact about the horrific effects of bad decision-making and poor
judgment than myself.
Why do I care?
In 1996, St. Louis Rams President, John Shaw, encouraged me to contact
the popular college running back out of Nebraska, Lawrence Phillips (who
was also their first round pick), in hopes of establishing a healthy rapport by
sharing some of my negative experiences with him as a deterrent. At the
time of his suggestion, my self-esteem was as low as it had ever been, and
quite honestly, I didn't know what to say or where to begin. In hindsight, it
was the coward's way out. I was wallowing in self-pity. I never followed up.
Lawrence Phillips ended up having a sub-par NFL career and never reached
his true potential; he also had several skirmishes with the law along the way.
I have no idea whether any correspondence between me and Lawrence
would have made a difference in his NFL career, but the possibility exists
that it could have. That incident has dogged me for years and I will never
again leave anything as important as this to chance. I do have something to
say, and I'm going to say it over and over with the hope that young people
can learn from my example!
DarrylHenley.com
A personal message from Darryl written April 19, 2007
regarding the recent stories about NFL players getting
into trouble.
I was reading the newspaper recently and was blown away from what I saw
on the front page of the sports section. Staring back at me were
approximately 20 faces representing NFL athletes who have criminal
records or have been arrested since 2005. I cannot fully explain the empty
feeling I had while reading the story, but the article consumed a lot of my
mental thoughts for several days. I pondered whether I should put
something on my web site but I really wasn't sure how or who to address
because I strongly feel the need to write more regularly with the intentions of
targeting high school and college athletes.
This is a big focus of mine, to catch the attention of younger athletes
BEFORE they reach that point where they believe they know everything! I
received numerous correspondences from coaches, teachers, and parents
wanting me to communicate with a certain kid who needs some real talking
to about the dangers and pitfalls that face young kids everyday. I enjoy doing
that because young minds are impressionable and need to be filled with
caution signs and warning lights as they move forward in life.
In this message, however, I am going to speak directly to an athlete in the
NFL, from my website, because he may not be the only one I need to be
addressing. Since "you" wrote me (at the advice of your coaches), I will write
this to "you." As you were told by coach, I will be very straight forward.
I am not going to pretend that I have all the answers or some type of antidote
to rid athletes of the poisonous and destructive nature their off the field
antics are causing. However, I can think of no more qualified person to
address this issue with you; though I do not have a bunch of educational
initials behind my name, what does qualify me being somewhat of an expert
in this field is the series of numbers that are behind my name. These
numbers represent who I am as an inmate in the Federal Bureau of Prisons.
It is an extremely unflattering legacy to leave behind, and I can't but wonder
why you are doing everything in your power to throw away a very promising
future.
You really need to come to an understanding of a very important fact. Life
does not solely revolve around you! I learned this lesson too late for myself,
but you still have time. Every flawed decision you make has a very real
impact on someone somewhere, and as you are experiencing first hand,
people are getting tired of providing excuses for reckless behavior. I
recommend stop putting yourself into situations that have the possibility of
bringing harm or danger to your world. It's as simple as that. Closely
examine the atmosphere and circumstances when you last found yourself in
hot water, if you're being honest with yourself, surely you must question the
decision to attend nightclubs with 7 or more of your buddies. Plenty high
profile athletes do this nowadays, and for the life of me I cannot figure out the
benefit in that.
Perhaps you can help me understand this, but I can see numerous
problems which have the potential to lead to unwanted incidents. It's a
difficult task trying to find one or two buddies who share common views and
interests with you, let alone 5, 6, 7 and more. If you are the type of individual
who loves the nightlife, how can you control someone else's emotions while
you are out there gettin' your own groove on? Large groups are a recipe for
instant disaster. It's not that all of your crew are bad news or have a negative
influence on you, the reality could be the exact opposite. You may be the
person who becomes out of control when all of the boyz are around you, yet
an entirely different person when you are by yourself or away from the
party-scene.
What is the satisfaction in tearing up a club, being sloppy and skunk drunk
and far removed from your sensibilities? What could you possibly get out of
this? I had the pleasure of playing for a Hall of Fame coach by the name of
Chuck Knox. He had these quirky sayings and one I remember more than
ever now that I am incarcerated is, "never throw the ball so far over the fence
where you can't go back and get it." There were some expletives in there too,
and after he said this he'd always end his remark by saying, "and only a fool
can't understand what I'm talking 'bout". He never explained what this
meant, but years later while sitting on a prison bus, shackled with leg irons,
chains, and handcuffs, staring out of the window, the true meaning
slammed into me like a Mack truck. Be in control of every phase of your life,
never taking anything out of order for granted, because if you do, that one
thing that has gone unchecked for so long could be the catalyst to a
downward spiral you can't reel back in. You need to give yourself a gut check
and feel what I'm trying to tell you.
Do you view yourself as a criminal? Of course not, so stop supporting the
definition of what one is! There is nothing enticing about this category; you
should do everything in your power to change this ugly perception placed on
you. You have a career filled with promise and privilege. Don't throw it away
in a moment's weakness. The easiest excuse to make is for you to take the
position that everyone is blowing your problems out of proportion, but
proportion to what exactly? How about all the other NFL athletes who
embrace the League's livelihood respectfully and responsibly to the smaller
number of guys who have a propensity of criminal conduct.
Despite how you characterize it, felony convictions place you into a category
which is far from the ELITE company that surrounds you in the locker room. If
the behavior continues unchecked, you'll soon find yourself in a different
dome of play, but you won't like the rules much, and what will be at stake
won't be a simple number in the win/loss column. The stakes will be much
much greater, your freedom, your life, your sanity. The location will definitely
not be at a neutral site either. Stay out of courtrooms!
I'm writing you in a manner I know you can understand, and in no way are my
words meant to condemn or assassinate your integrity. I wish for you to
excel on and off the field, and in many respects, I would have loved to have
had a strong voice from behind the prison walls to help keep me guided and
on course. Good luck to "you," and you know how to reach me.
- Darryl
regarding the recent stories about NFL players getting
into trouble.
I was reading the newspaper recently and was blown away from what I saw
on the front page of the sports section. Staring back at me were
approximately 20 faces representing NFL athletes who have criminal
records or have been arrested since 2005. I cannot fully explain the empty
feeling I had while reading the story, but the article consumed a lot of my
mental thoughts for several days. I pondered whether I should put
something on my web site but I really wasn't sure how or who to address
because I strongly feel the need to write more regularly with the intentions of
targeting high school and college athletes.
This is a big focus of mine, to catch the attention of younger athletes
BEFORE they reach that point where they believe they know everything! I
received numerous correspondences from coaches, teachers, and parents
wanting me to communicate with a certain kid who needs some real talking
to about the dangers and pitfalls that face young kids everyday. I enjoy doing
that because young minds are impressionable and need to be filled with
caution signs and warning lights as they move forward in life.
In this message, however, I am going to speak directly to an athlete in the
NFL, from my website, because he may not be the only one I need to be
addressing. Since "you" wrote me (at the advice of your coaches), I will write
this to "you." As you were told by coach, I will be very straight forward.
I am not going to pretend that I have all the answers or some type of antidote
to rid athletes of the poisonous and destructive nature their off the field
antics are causing. However, I can think of no more qualified person to
address this issue with you; though I do not have a bunch of educational
initials behind my name, what does qualify me being somewhat of an expert
in this field is the series of numbers that are behind my name. These
numbers represent who I am as an inmate in the Federal Bureau of Prisons.
It is an extremely unflattering legacy to leave behind, and I can't but wonder
why you are doing everything in your power to throw away a very promising
future.
You really need to come to an understanding of a very important fact. Life
does not solely revolve around you! I learned this lesson too late for myself,
but you still have time. Every flawed decision you make has a very real
impact on someone somewhere, and as you are experiencing first hand,
people are getting tired of providing excuses for reckless behavior. I
recommend stop putting yourself into situations that have the possibility of
bringing harm or danger to your world. It's as simple as that. Closely
examine the atmosphere and circumstances when you last found yourself in
hot water, if you're being honest with yourself, surely you must question the
decision to attend nightclubs with 7 or more of your buddies. Plenty high
profile athletes do this nowadays, and for the life of me I cannot figure out the
benefit in that.
Perhaps you can help me understand this, but I can see numerous
problems which have the potential to lead to unwanted incidents. It's a
difficult task trying to find one or two buddies who share common views and
interests with you, let alone 5, 6, 7 and more. If you are the type of individual
who loves the nightlife, how can you control someone else's emotions while
you are out there gettin' your own groove on? Large groups are a recipe for
instant disaster. It's not that all of your crew are bad news or have a negative
influence on you, the reality could be the exact opposite. You may be the
person who becomes out of control when all of the boyz are around you, yet
an entirely different person when you are by yourself or away from the
party-scene.
What is the satisfaction in tearing up a club, being sloppy and skunk drunk
and far removed from your sensibilities? What could you possibly get out of
this? I had the pleasure of playing for a Hall of Fame coach by the name of
Chuck Knox. He had these quirky sayings and one I remember more than
ever now that I am incarcerated is, "never throw the ball so far over the fence
where you can't go back and get it." There were some expletives in there too,
and after he said this he'd always end his remark by saying, "and only a fool
can't understand what I'm talking 'bout". He never explained what this
meant, but years later while sitting on a prison bus, shackled with leg irons,
chains, and handcuffs, staring out of the window, the true meaning
slammed into me like a Mack truck. Be in control of every phase of your life,
never taking anything out of order for granted, because if you do, that one
thing that has gone unchecked for so long could be the catalyst to a
downward spiral you can't reel back in. You need to give yourself a gut check
and feel what I'm trying to tell you.
Do you view yourself as a criminal? Of course not, so stop supporting the
definition of what one is! There is nothing enticing about this category; you
should do everything in your power to change this ugly perception placed on
you. You have a career filled with promise and privilege. Don't throw it away
in a moment's weakness. The easiest excuse to make is for you to take the
position that everyone is blowing your problems out of proportion, but
proportion to what exactly? How about all the other NFL athletes who
embrace the League's livelihood respectfully and responsibly to the smaller
number of guys who have a propensity of criminal conduct.
Despite how you characterize it, felony convictions place you into a category
which is far from the ELITE company that surrounds you in the locker room. If
the behavior continues unchecked, you'll soon find yourself in a different
dome of play, but you won't like the rules much, and what will be at stake
won't be a simple number in the win/loss column. The stakes will be much
much greater, your freedom, your life, your sanity. The location will definitely
not be at a neutral site either. Stay out of courtrooms!
I'm writing you in a manner I know you can understand, and in no way are my
words meant to condemn or assassinate your integrity. I wish for you to
excel on and off the field, and in many respects, I would have loved to have
had a strong voice from behind the prison walls to help keep me guided and
on course. Good luck to "you," and you know how to reach me.
- Darryl